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Post by Boss on Aug 18, 2008 14:56:39 GMT -5
Here is one I made up making fun of the bulletins like these. Tell me what you guys think and if it is too terrible for me to post:
Susan bought an internet. She just recently bought an internet from a store, but this was no normal store... It was actually a store filled with evil child molesters (of course).
As Susan walked home alone in the dark at 12:00 P.M sharp, she noticed foot steps behind her. Foot steps of a child molester.
"Hello?" Susan said with her high-pitched high school girl voice. "Is someone there!? Show yourself!"
I better get home, she thought. Maybe I'm just hearing things.
Susan finally got home. She went to grab the door handle and opened it up. "What the hell? My parents aren't home tonight.... why would they leave the door unlocked?"
When she went inside immediately she locked the door and sighed. "I better go hook up this internet here. Afterwards I'll go download some poppy music like Jonas Brothers or Fall Out Boy to calm me down!"
So she went upstairs to here computer and plugged in the internet. "My friends were telling me about this website called MySpace. I'll go sign up and post tons of erotic pictures of myself half naked!"
As she was uploading pictures of herself she heard a noise downstairs. "What the fuck was that?" she said. "I better go check it out although I'm totally defenseless."
So she quickly walked down stairs and noticed the refrigerator door was opened and spilled milk was all over the floor and her cats were licking it up. "Aww fuck the milk spilled all over the floor. Damn cats"
After 30 boring minutes of cleaning up the milk she continued upstairs and saw she had a new friend request. "Wow who could this possibly be I didn't tell me friends of my MySpace yet." But she added him anyway.
His name was Steve. His occupation was child molester/internet seller and she immediately recognized him from the store. "Holy shit! Thats the guy who sold me my internet!"
Then she saw she got a new comment. It read: "Hello Susan. Looking pretty good. I like that pink shirt. Take it off!"
"OH MY GOD!" Susan said. "HE KNOWS WHAT I'M WEARING! AWESOME!" So she took it off.
She had a new comment: "Awesome. Now the pants."
So she dropped them too.
New comment: "Now I have a secret to tell you. I am you're father. I am not actually Steve. I just made that shit up. I am actually directly behind you with a huge erection and a knife, so when I rape you I can have fun killing you afterwards."
"Awesome dad," she said turning around. "This is like a dream come true!"
Then her dad raped her and slit her throat.
Susan woke up in her bed. "What the hell was that? What a terrible nightmare!" Then she walked over to her computer.
1 new comment! It was from "Satan". It read: "Muhahahhaaha this isn't reality this is Hell! HAHAHAHA!"
"Fuck!" Susan screamed. She looked behind her. It was Steve with devil horns!
"NOW TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES!" he yelled.
THE END!
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Post by Kenny on Aug 18, 2008 18:11:04 GMT -5
1 New Comment!
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Post by kgm on Aug 18, 2008 21:37:05 GMT -5
[suzan] bought Internet. She bought Internet from the store exactly recently, but is not this the normal store… where That was the store which really is full with the wicked child abuse person, (naturally). As [suzan] 12: 00 P.M being sharp, with the darkness the house, she walked independently to step of the feet of her rear which becomes aware. Step of feet of child abuse person. " Today? " As for [suzan] you called voice of the girl of the her shell high high school. " As for someone it is there! ? Show you yourself! " I her thought of the house, better, you obtain. Perhaps I' Exactly m where you inquire about thing. [suzan] obtained the house finally. She went, grasping the door handle opened that. " What? My parent aren' t returns to the tonight house…. Do those why being able to open the key, go away from the door? " When her inside going directly, she tightened the door, sigh was attached. " I go here on this Internet of the hook better. After that I' ll goes, or the poppy music like the sibling of [daunrodojiyonasu] calms down boy me it falls! " Therefore she in the computer went to the second floor here, Internet inserted the plug. " My friend concerning this web sight which was called MySpace called to me. I' ll participates, your own sensuality which posts half exposed the ton of image go! " Because she had uploaded her herself image, she heard noise to under. " Was sexual intercourse what that? " She said. " I am better inspection that I' It goes; Completely m defenseless." Therefore as for her the milk which is directly dropped under the stairway you opened the floor without the [ku] [ma], her cat was that, walked thing, the cooling system door having licked became aware. " The sexual intercourse of Aww where the milk drops the floor without the [ku] [ma]. Ugly cats" She continued in the second floor, she after the boring amount of 30 of the things which make the milk which was seen clean possessed the request of the new friend. " This perhaps I didn' So the wow which can be; As for t in me my MySpace yet." The friend is informed; But she added him in any case. That name was Steve. That occupation was the child abuse person or the seller of Internet and she verified him from the store directly. " How densely the [tsu] it is! That me my Internet is the person who was sold! " Then she looked at that the comment where she is new is obtained. You read that: " Today [suzan]. See rather carefully. I like the shirt of the pink. Take that! " " No lever Toda! " You called [suzan]. " As for him what kind of I' You have known whether; You have attached to M body! It keeps being surprised " Therefore she took that. She possessed new comment: " It keeps being surprised This time pants." Therefore she dropped those. New comment: " This time as for me it possesses the secret which is said. As for me you' So it is; Re-father. I really am not Steve. I formed every the am [wa] exactly. I directly really am in your rear of enormous construction and the knife, therefore when I rape, as for me afterwards." It is possible to possess the murder of the pleasure; " Father of the just you are surprised, " She faced and meant that it is repaired. " This like dream is true comes! " Then her father raped her, opened up her throat. [suzan] awoke with her bed. " Was that what? How fearful nightmare? " Then she walked to her computer. The comment whose one is new! As for that " It was empty; Satan" . You read that: " Muhahahhaaha this isn' As for the actuality of t there is this hell! HAHAHAHA! " " Sexual intercourse! " As for [suzan] you shouted. She saw with her rear. That was Steve who has the angle of demon! " Now disperse your clothing! " He shouted. Edge!
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Post by Boss on Aug 18, 2008 23:31:08 GMT -5
[suzan] bought Internet. She bought Internet from the store exactly recently, but is not this the normal store… where That was the store which really is full with the wicked child abuse person, (naturally). As [suzan] 12: 00 P.M being sharp, with the darkness the house, she walked independently to step of the feet of her rear which becomes aware. Step of feet of child abuse person. " Today? " As for [suzan] you called voice of the girl of the her shell high high school. " As for someone it is there! ? Show you yourself! " I her thought of the house, better, you obtain. Perhaps I' Exactly m where you inquire about thing. [suzan] obtained the house finally. She went, grasping the door handle opened that. " What? My parent aren' t returns to the tonight house…. Do those why being able to open the key, go away from the door? " When her inside going directly, she tightened the door, sigh was attached. " I go here on this Internet of the hook better. After that I' ll goes, or the poppy music like the sibling of [daunrodojiyonasu] calms down boy me it falls! " Therefore she in the computer went to the second floor here, Internet inserted the plug. " My friend concerning this web sight which was called MySpace called to me. I' ll participates, your own sensuality which posts half exposed the ton of image go! " Because she had uploaded her herself image, she heard noise to under. " Was sexual intercourse what that? " She said. " I am better inspection that I' It goes; Completely m defenseless." Therefore as for her the milk which is directly dropped under the stairway you opened the floor without the [ku] [ma], her cat was that, walked thing, the cooling system door having licked became aware. " The sexual intercourse of Aww where the milk drops the floor without the [ku] [ma]. Ugly cats" She continued in the second floor, she after the boring amount of 30 of the things which make the milk which was seen clean possessed the request of the new friend. " This perhaps I didn' So the wow which can be; As for t in me my MySpace yet." The friend is informed; But she added him in any case. That name was Steve. That occupation was the child abuse person or the seller of Internet and she verified him from the store directly. " How densely the [tsu] it is! That me my Internet is the person who was sold! " Then she looked at that the comment where she is new is obtained. You read that: " Today [suzan]. See rather carefully. I like the shirt of the pink. Take that! " " No lever Toda! " You called [suzan]. " As for him what kind of I' You have known whether; You have attached to M body! It keeps being surprised " Therefore she took that. She possessed new comment: " It keeps being surprised This time pants." Therefore she dropped those. New comment: " This time as for me it possesses the secret which is said. As for me you' So it is; Re-father. I really am not Steve. I formed every the am [wa] exactly. I directly really am in your rear of enormous construction and the knife, therefore when I rape, as for me afterwards." It is possible to possess the murder of the pleasure; " Father of the just you are surprised, " She faced and meant that it is repaired. " This like dream is true comes! " Then her father raped her, opened up her throat. [suzan] awoke with her bed. " Was that what? How fearful nightmare? " Then she walked to her computer. The comment whose one is new! As for that " It was empty; Satan" . You read that: " Muhahahhaaha this isn' As for the actuality of t there is this hell! HAHAHAHA! " " Sexual intercourse! " As for [suzan] you shouted. She saw with her rear. That was Steve who has the angle of demon! " Now disperse your clothing! " He shouted. Edge! At first I was wondering how you came up with this. Then I had a hunch that you went on to babelfish, translated it to another language, and then re-translated it back to English. And shit I was right! I transfered it from English to Japanese and Japanese to English. Cool thought though.
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Post by jinxtengu on Aug 18, 2008 23:32:25 GMT -5
lol
my space sucks. I signed up once and I thought I would have tons of friends, (heheh) but it seems you actually need to know at least one other person who has an account. all those chain letters are for is brainwashing, and to collect personal data, to aid them with the brainwashing.
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Post by Boss on Aug 18, 2008 23:46:48 GMT -5
lol my space sucks. I signed up once and I thought I would have tons of friends, (heheh) but it seems you actually need to know at least one other person who has an account. all those chain letters are for is brainwashing, and to collect personal data, to aid them with the brainwashing. Shit I knew it....
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Post by jinxtengu on Aug 18, 2008 23:51:05 GMT -5
I hate political correctness, but I always think about it. even using the word "rape" is offensive if used out of context.
how can I say what I want to say without offending somebody, it's so frustrating. some people just don't know how to step back and put things into context. what is the power of words? is it worth offending people? I believe I have gone too far already, all I can aim for is infamy.
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Post by jinxtengu on Aug 18, 2008 23:55:04 GMT -5
qwotree"lol
my space sucks. I signed up once and I thought I would have tons of friends, (heheh) but it seems you actually need to know at least one other person who has an account. all those chain letters are for is brainwashing, and to collect personal data, to aid them with the brainwashing.
Shit I knew it.... """"
unquth
you did know right? the "quizez" on myspace are used to collect personal informaton, it's quite blatent, like do you prefer hudsons cofee or some other coffee? thats one I remember. I am sure they are very sneaky about it though. Im sure they collect many other details.
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Post by ben on Aug 30, 2008 2:01:19 GMT -5
I like being able to talk to members of my old Battalion but shit, there is rampant retardation on that place
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